Nearly back...honest!

My daughter has returned home, and is back to work full time, albeit on "light duty." She is finally pain free after many weeks, and completely free of pain killers and anti-biotics.

I feel as if I can breathe again.

I didn't realize how run down I had become by the stress of her hospitalization and recuperation. I am taking this as my wake up call to prioritize self-care after working so hard to nurse my daughter and take care of our granddaughter. I believe that therapists have a responsibility to model good self-care - and we all define that in different ways, I'm sure. At the barest minimum, mine is adequate sleep, healthy eating, as much exercise as I am able to do given health challenges, plenty of joy and laughter and time spent with people who love me.

The pull to write has been strong, but with both my daughter and granddaughter camped out in my study at home until recently, I have been without my writing haven. Typically this means being ensconced in my study, late at night, when the house is still and quiet. I sit happily at the computer, mint tea steaming in my favorite mug (white snowflakes on a winter-blue, porcelain background), the dishwasher quietly humming in the kitchen, puppies and humans curled up in blankets, perusing my half-finished blog titles.

Deprived of my ability to write, I have defaulted to my other love which is reading. Here's a partial list of books I've read in the last few weeks, in between nurse-maiding and grandparenting duties:

"Tales from a Traveling Couch: A psychotherapist revists his most memorable patients" by Robert Akeret
Robert Akeret, on the verge of retiring after many years in practice as a psychotherapist, decides to visit some of his patients to see whether the work they did together as therapist and patient actually worked. This is intriguing reading whether you are a therapist or not. Amongst the clients he visits are a man who worked at the circus and was in love with a Polar Bear and constantly showed up to his appointments covered in gouges after unsuccessful attempts to show the object of his affections the true depth of his affections.

"Fat?So!" by Marilyn Wann
Marilyn Wann is a truly amazing woman. She started a Zine called Fat?So! several years ago, which then moved online. The book is a compilation of her writings and thoughts, interspersed with the musings of others on what it means to live in a fat body. Funny at times, thought-provoking at others, never boring. Highly recommended to anybody who would like to begin to free themselves from the tyranny of hating their large-sized body.

"Revolting Bodies: The Struggle to Redefine Fat Identity" by Kathleen LeBesco
How anybody could take such a fascinating title and proceed to write one of the most turgid books in the history of the written word is beyond my comprehension. Her body politics are stellar, her ideas are interesting. However, reading her book is like wading through molasses carrying your bedroom furniture on your back - slow going. I finished it because I thought I should, not because I wanted to.

"The Strange History of Suzanna LaFleshe (and other stories of women and fatness)" edited by Susan Koppelman
This is a wonderful anthology of women's writings, exploring fat women's relationships with their bodies and identities. Happily, any shred of body hatred , misery about personal amplitude or self-disgust is missing from these pages. Instead, the pages are alive with fabulous stories of celebration of the body, stories of bodies that "refuse to be contained." Highly recommended no matter what size body you inhabit!

"The Tipping Point: How Little things can make a big difference" by Malcolm Gladwell
Written by the author of "Blink" this is a fascinating account of the moment when a wonderful "idea, trend, or social behavior crosses a threshold, tips, and spreads like wildfire." Very interesting reading.

"The Burn Journals" by Brent Runyon
Brent Runyon was only 14 years old when, depressed and hopeless, he poured gasoline onto his bathrobe, and set it on fire. He suffered 3rd degree burns over 85% of his body. After spending one year in intensive care, burn rehab units and having suffered excrutiating pain, he comes to understand the source of his despair and why wanting to die seemed like the only way out at the time. (The book is also a "How Not to Work with Adolescents" primer for any therapist who reads the book!) I winced my way through each page, but felt that I had been privvy to the intimate workings of the mind of a teenage boy for the first time in my life.

"Sissies and Tomboys: Gender nonconformity and homosexual childhood" edited by Matthew Rottnek
The book is an exploration of gender and child development, looking at what it means to be gender deviant as a child, and how our idea of "normal" stigmatizes and pathologizes children who exhibit cross-gendered behaviors.