Should Therapists Be In Therapy?

I belong to a listserv for therapists and this is one of the topics that people have been discussing recently. It’s frequently a theme that raises ire amongst therapists, so here are my blogged opinions on the subject.

I remember in the halcyon days of Graduate School being amazed at how few of my student peers had actually been in therapy themselves and wondering how they were going to be able to empathize with the experience of their clients unless they knew for themselves what it felt like to be a client. I believe that it would be unethical to mandate therapy before commencing a graduate program, but there is a case to be made for strongly recommending that future therapists experience therapy for themselves.

I believe that my experiences in therapy have helped me begin to understand how it feels for some of my clients when they sit opposite me in session. Having been a client myself, I can empathize with the discomfort and vulnerability of showing one’s self, of displaying emotions that few, if any, people in one’s life will see, of talking about distressing and painful topics that may be rarely discussed with lovers, friends and family, of laying bare the challenges one faces in the world, the difficult decisions, the complexities of close relationships and so on.

But there are some clients whose life experiences and challenges are so far removed from my own, that it would be impossible for me to fully know from the inside out what they have faced in their lives, what it has meant to be that client. Does this mean that I would not be effective as their therapist? Walking a mile in somebody else’s shoes would definitely be a learning experience. But does a therapist need to have experienced and recovered from substance abuse in order to work with folks who are in recovery? What about able-bodied therapists who work with people with disabilities? Therapists who work with schizophrenics? Therapists whose specialty is working with people with autism? The list is endless. I believe that one of the most important aspects of a therapist having been in therapy themselves is that they understand the power of the therapeutic relationship from both sides of the couch, and understand the process of therapy.

Therapists should be in therapy if they need to be, but I don’t believe that we all need to be in therapy all of the time, and that the same holds true for therapists. What would be the point in requiring therapists to be in therapy that they did not need? Such a requirement would be tantamount to an assumption that all therapists are broken down and in need of “fixing” – this would be a huge, and inaccurate, leap in logic. In point of fact, very few of the people I see as clients are “broken” (and luckily neither do I perceive therapy as a process to fix broken people).

For licensed psychotherapists, our ethical mandate is to ensure that we take steps to be as effective and competent as is humanly possible and that we “do no harm.” We aren’t required to be perfect, merely to take steps to make sure that we follow our professional mandate. This requires us to either obtain supervision or refer out clients with whom we are in over our heads. In some cases, this might also mean that we ourselves pursue therapy in order to “tidy up” places in our life that get in the way of our well-functioning as therapists.

As regular readers of my blog already know, I consider supervision a necessity in my practice as a therapist. I also, when needed, am in therapy when it is needed. My daughter and I are just wrapping up some sessions of family therapy that have dramatically altered our relationship for the better: places that felt too messy for us to wade through alone became magically illuminated by Bunny Duhl's excellent clinical flashlight. I have a wonderful individual therapist that I am seeing at the moment to help give me perspective on a variety of issues in life, including how to handle my parents' aging and future deaths. I have read books on aging parents, being an adult child of parents, relationships between mothers and adult daughters, etc. Reading gives me instruction, education, insight and perspective. But it is therapy that allows me to internalize and experientially navigate what it means to be a 51 year old woman whose mother is aging and to have somebody witness the sorrow and grief I feel about that unavoidable, imminent and painful loss.

As somebody on my listserv wrote today, “If I need to place a Band-Aid on my finger, I'm able, but I can't seem to get my own proctology exam done - there's room for both self-care AND more objective care/therapy with professional assistance.” Few would argue that developing a healthy regimen for self care is not a good thing. Eating well, exercising, a spiritual life however you define it, nurturing and loving relationships with partners, friends and family, reveling in the delights of music and honest self-examination where needed – these are just a few of components of a vigorous, healthy life. Therapy is one such component - but a "when needed" not a "should."