Settling In To Life As A Northampton Therapist

Moving to Western Massachusetts has been a culture shock in many ways. There are sights, sounds, smells and personalities to familiarize myself with, and as somebody who lived most of my life in an urban setting, the learning curve is enjoyable, but steep.

The small town I live in is very rural, and other than a small log cabin near our home, there are no houses for half a mile and then another 2 miles before you come to the next building - the local (and only) grocery store. Despite the fact that our land is on a fairly major (for Western Mass) route, sometimes more than 15 minutes goes by without a car, truck or tractor driving past. During an ice-storm, few cars can get make it up the steep hill just past our house and when the ice and snow have carpeted the road surface with such a thick slick of slippery white, and we leave the lights on around our driveway to let people know that if they are stuck, they can call friends to be towed, and have a cup of tea while they thaw out and wait to be rescued. In between frequent snow and ice storms the road surfaces are visible and what was once a smooth road surface now ripples with frost heaves; parts of the road are almost split in half where the town didn't get around to crack sealing in time for the winter freeze.

One of the local farmers owns the corn field across from our driveway, and as spring approaches he tows cart-loads of manure and dumps it in the field, ready to spread it over the cornfield, readying it for the summer crop. Right now, the manure is frozen in dark clumps, forming piles which stand out starkly against the snowscape in the field. But as soon as the thaw comes, the manure will warm up and the smell will be unbearable to us city-slickers for a couple of days. I'm sure that we'll get used to it after a few years, but for the moment the smell is strong and unpleasant, as much as we appreciate the benefit it brings to the soil.

People are friendly and welcoming, but cautious and understandably so. I've been told by new friends that local people are wary of growing too close to those "flatlanders" who have newly arrived in the hill towns region of Western Mass. Apparently, as life can be harsh and hard here, sometimes people give up and return to their urban ways, leaving their rural friends behind. So there's a cautious "wait and see" approach to newbies in town. Your impact on a small town is much, much larger than the one you'd have in an urban town setting, and it's wise to be careful and even more respectful towards neighbors than you would normally. We clearly need each other more out here. Alienating neighbors is not a good idea.

I have always enjoyed spending time alone, and can wile away hour upon hour with books, writing letters, journaling and reading professional journals and magazines. Now a lot of my time seems to be taken in driving. Sometimes it takes me as much as three hours to get into Watertown where I spend two days a week seeing clients at my Watertown office. When I'm back at home, I have a 40 minute (19 mile) drive into Northampton to see clients one to two days a week. I plug in my Blue Tooth headset, and talk on my phone to friends and family on the long drives backwards and forwards down the Massachusetts Turnpike, and my CD box is overflowing with music that I listen to in between phone calls. I would still rather be sitting with my legs up on our over-stuffed leather couch, reading a book, but music and phone calls make the trips bearable.

My practice is still building in Northampton, but meanwhile my online therapy practice more than keeps me busy. I have developed a sub-specialty in working with transgender active duty military personnel (and sometimes their family members), and as my name gets passed around transgender chat rooms and transgender support sites online, this practice continues to build. (There is much to say about this, and my intent is to write a series of blogs on the issues facing people who are transgender and serving in the armed forces.) Meanwhile, sitting at my computer upstairs in my study wearing fluffy flannel pajamas, warm slippers and my favorite Pashmina around my shoulders (purchased by my mother as a present for me at a store in Heathrow Airport) conducting therapy online with a soldier stationed in Iraq is another wonderful way to pursue a life as a therapist, and adds greatly to the quality of my professional life that I can conduct some part of it in my PJ's!

Northampton is delightful. The town is fully of bijou restaurants, music venues and clothing stores, one-of-a-kind art stores, and so many bookstores that I feel as if I've died and gone to heaven. They don't call this area "Happy Valley" for nothing! Suffice to say that this is not a welcoming place to live for republicans. The town is very gay and lesbian friendly and while it's not as ethnically diverse as I would like, there's plenty of room for all sorts of people. People watching here is a delight. I described it to a friend as being "Harvard Square on steroids." I don't think I've ever seen as many white people with dreadlocks in my life!

Being one of only three sex therapists in the immediate area of Northampton and Amherst has also meant that I've been met with a very big and friendly welcome by local psychotherapists, eager for places to make referrals for clients struggling with sexual disorders. So, I've been invited to join online lists of local psychotherapists in private practice; I've received invitations to meet and socialize in local restaurants with like-minded clinicians; people have freely shared their resources whether it be suggestions for where to find office space, or how to locate a good billing person. I've been stunned at how fast I've made friends - what took years to accomplish in Boston, has happened in a matter of months in Northampton. So, my practice here has been growing nicely, and I love my new office space on King Street. In addition to being just a brisk walk into the hustle and bustle of the downtown area, there's also the benefit of being set back from the street, so my office is quiet and peaceful no matter what the time of day.

I feel quite blessed these days.