Being Scared Of Spiders Sucks

I've been scared of them since I was about 8 years old, and I've tried every therapy known to humans in an attempt to overcome my phobia. My parents became creative at thinking up reasons for the sudden appearance of a never-before-seen phobia, but none of their reasons ever fit, and I haven't ever come up with a good enough reason of my own. Be that as it may, I went from an active tomboy who lived her life outside in the fields, to a child who wouldn't sit under a tree, on the grass or walk through fields in case spiders were to (a) drop on me (b) walk across me or (c) attach to me. Beginning at the age of 14 through to the present, I have endured (a) hypnosis (b) Cognitive Behavioral therapy (c) EMDR (d) Exposure therapy (e)myriad versions of "talk" therapy and (f) endless hours researching spiders, learning about spiders and trying to figure out why oh why I'm so darn scared of them. I am sad to report that I have no great insights. I have heard that the Anxiety Disorders Clinic at Boston University has some success with phobias, but it involves allowing them to set spiders free in your immediate vicinity and I'm not in any great hurry to agree to that torment, and pay for the privilege to boot!

However, over the years I'm a little less petrified than I was - there was a time when I would gag and/or faint if a spider came near me. I can now, on occasion, (and I'm not proud of this as I hate to harm any living thing, no matter how lowly) squish them if the clump of papertowels is big enough to "protect" me from the possibility of the spider escaping using its super-arachnid strength and leaping on me with its fangs out. (I didn't say this was a rational phobia, did I?) I can perform this cruel feat as long as the spider is not above me on the ceiling, or at least overhead in some fashion, and as long as it's not too furry and not too big. (Too big would be over half an inch across including legs, and dear readers even typing the word "legs" makes me feel like gagging.)

The reason I feel compelled to share about my spider phobia is that instead of getting an early night as I had intended, I was driven from the bedroom because a large spider crawled up the back of the bed and neither my spouse nor I were able to catch the wretched thing. One abortive attempt to catch the nimble critter ended up with the eight-legged horror dropping kamikaze-like from the ceiling onto my bedside table, from whence it disappeared into the night. We spent about half an hour looking for it to no avail. So, here I sit, trying to calm my nerves by writing about my phobia.

"How come you're a therapist and scared of spiders?" I hear you say. Good question. I've no idea. I'm pretty savvy about some things and a complete idiot about others. If you are having sexual problems, parenting problems, coming out issues, (and indeed just about anything related to sexual orientation) anxiety, depression and just plain feeling crummy, I can probably help.

If you're scared of spiders, forget it. But if you hear of a good therapist, be sure to let me know, okay?